The Bodhran Song (When I Grow Up)
Oh, I am a year old kid, I'm worth scarcely twenty quid,
I'm the kind of beast that you might well look down on.
But my value will increase at the time of my decease,
When I grow up I want to be a bodhran.
If you kill me for my meat, you won't find me very sweet,
Your palate, I'm afraid, I'd soon turn sour on.
But if you do me in for the sake of my thick skin,
You'll find I'll make a tasty little bodhran.
Now my parents, Bill and Nan, they do not approve my plan,
To become a yoke for everyone to pound on.
But sure I would sooner scamper with a bang than with a whimper,
And achieve reincarnation as a bodhran.
I look forward to the day when I leave off eating hay,
And become a drum to entertain a crowd on.
And I'll make my presence felt with each well-delivered belt,
As a fully qualified and licensed bodhran.
And 'tis when I'm killed and cured, my career will be assured,
I'll be a skin you see no scum nor scour on.
But with studs around my rim, I'll be sound in wind and limb,
And I'll make a handy dandy little bodhran.
Oh, my heart with joy expands, when I dream of far off lands,
And consider all the streets that I will sound on.
And I pity my poor Ma, who was never at a fleadh,
Or indulged in foreign travel as a bodhran.
For a hornpipe or a reel, a dead donkey had no feel,
Or a horse or cow or sheep that has its shroud on.
And you can't join in a jig, if you're a former grade A pig,
But you can wallop out the lot if you're a bodhran.
And I don't think that I'll much mind, when I've left meself behind,
Or regret I can no longer turn the power on,
For with my Celtic Inc. design tattooed on my behind,
I can be a very sexy little bodhran.
Now I think I've had enough, of the rubbishy auld guff,
So I'll put a sudden end to this wee ahmran
Quite soon my b-b-bleat, will become a steady beat,
When I start my new existence as a bodhran.