The Drunken Tinker
Now come all ye jolly fellows, and listen to me song,
It's about a drunken tinker, and I'll not detain you long.
The tinker had a loving wife, and he loved her most dear,
But every opportunity, he went upon the beer.
Singing fa de le fol de di do
Fal lal de day
Well the tinker and his loving wife through Newry town did pass,
The tinker he got drunk, and left the wife to mind the ass,
The ass was starved with hunger, and it couldn't hold its feet,
So she sold it to the candy man that lives in market street.
When the tinker he arose, out of his drunken sleep,
Unto his loving wife Judy, he surely then did creep,
He put his hand into his pocket, and it was scarce of brass,
saying go and get a stone of hay and feed it to the ass.
Oh she said dear John, the ass won't bother you,
For I have sold the ass, and drunk the money too,
He up with his tin mallet, and he hit her o'er the brain,
Be God and you will never sell and ass on me again.
Well the wife she staggered backwards, but didn't hit the floor,
For she was twenty stone, and also six foot four,
She welted him severely, and knocked him through the door,
And now their heads are both well bruised, and also rather sore.
A half a stone of boiled pig's feet, is just the ting they say,
Others swear a pint of milk keeps hangovers at bay,
But the moral of this sad sad tale, though you may think it queer,
Is to feed your ass a stone of hay before you hit the beer.